More Ancestor Dreaming: From Whence They Come?

“Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.

Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping…”

Paul Simon

Hello dreamers,

Recently there has been a lot of ancestor activity filling my in-box.

In any given week, I get two or three or more emails about a new course on the topic from the Jungians, or the Buddahists, or how to use a treatment modality such as EMDR or IFS to address what have been called legacy burdens, or the inherited trauma of our parents, grandparents, and other ancestors. I wonder why it has become one of the hottest new topics, at least in my little niche.

Perhaps as we ourselves age, and we become the elders of our own time, that our attention turns to the even older ones from generations and ages past? We all still need elders to guide us, so if our elders are no longer in their bodies, we still need to turn to them in spirit. Or perhaps in times of need we experience some kind of growth spurt in the collective wisdom as our collective unconscious, as Carl Jung identified our world-mind, now stretches further beyond time and space and allowing us more access to our ancestral memories? Or maybe the surges of gun violence across our country in the last few weeks contribute to our psyches resonating with the world beyond, with the dark shadows of violent death as our spirits search for comfort and succor.

I too have been dreaming dreams of my ancestors lately, both of my own family background and of my daughter’s Chinese roots. She and I connected in time and space with the Red Thread of our soul lineage months before we met her embodied self in China 25 years ago (she is soon to be 26, she was one year old when we brought her home). I dream of borscht and of Kiev, the Ukrainian home of my deep voiced maternal grandfather, and of the Netherlands, where my paternal great-grandmother is from, short and round and blond.

The Bright Inheritance:

If we can inherit trauma or vulnerabilities from our ancestors, we can inherit resources as well. Rabbi Tirzeh Firestone called the healing and healthy people from our past the Bright Ones. So, as we attend and befriend these dreams and shadows, we need to remember to embrace the gifts that come with them as well. Some of our ancestors bring us comfort and resources, others requests for healing. I have family pictures behind me on the shelf as I sit and write or interview, and I love that my Gramma Molly looks over my shoulder, as well as my mom and daughter; four generations of strong women.

The role of trauma in our nightmares:

Dreamwork has long been attending to the short and the long shadows that show up in our nighttime ramblings. The past traumas of our parents and grandparents of oppression, victimization, war, genocide, slavery, and immigrations of unwelcoming show up in our dreams, turning them into nightmares, as well as the slings and arrows of our current life experiences. Current events that include racism, antisemitism, homophobia, shaming of any kind because of otherness which can also echo and reflect these past traumas in our lives and our dreams. A wisdom statement from the trauma field says that “Loss pulls loss, and trauma pulls trauma.” Naming begins the healing as we break the collusion of silence.

Part of our work then, is to determine what is ours and what is not ours. We must learn how to extend compassion and understanding to those who came before us whose struggles darkened and shadowed our lives, as they too lived in the shadow of some injustice and pain. We  have to discern what is ours, and what is not ours, and create the healings, the rituals, the boundaries that allow us to honor, but not absorb the pain of the past.

Epigenetics

The science of epigenetics tells us that events from generations past can still affect us for decades and centuries after the traumatic events occurred (the bible says they are passed down for seven generations). While extreme stress or trauma may not change our actual DNA structure, scientific studies have now shown that it does make chemical changes or leave marks on our genes in a process called methylation. This is a biochemical addition of a methyl group or “chemical cap” to the DNA molecule. “Epi” means above, that is, then above the genes, thus, epigenetics. Passing on the modulations of the genes in response to environmental cues and stresses is then called epigenetic inheritance. These traits, however, are reversible, unlike our hair or eye color. This is part of what can give us hope, that we are not doomed forever to repeat the past.

P.T.S.G.: Post Trauma Spiritual Growth:

We have dark dreams, and we have light filled dreams. The difference between a dream and a nightmare is the emotional narrative that accompanies the dream story and events. By re-storying the nightmares, doing dream work not only with the story line, the characters, and the landscape, but also with the emotional story, we can turn them into dreams of healing and redemption. Re-storying our dream can re-story our lives. Sometimes when we are lucky, the healing is contained in the dream itself.

While I was writing PTSDreams I had the following dream on the night of the winter solstice, when the dark first begins to recede and the light to return:

I am a child about eight years old in a dark dank prison cell with one high window. I am huddled against the wall. As I look up, I see a brilliant shaft of light coming through the window. I stand to face it, raise my arms up, and am carried out of the cell on the beam of light.

This was the winter before we had the option of vaccines, deep into covid-country. My dream showed me the way out – but I had to stand and face the light to do so, to participate in my own healing. The dark and the light met here. By remembering and recording this dream, the path of light out from the jail cell gives me stamina and faith to continue to get through other dark nights. If we follow the light, if we turn our attention to it, we can find our generative ancestors, and offer healing to those who need it.

Blessings on your ancestors and descendants,

Linda Yael