The People In Our Dreams, And What They Want to Tell Us

treehouse at moonlight by poetico

(In our dreams) “We encounter a whole family of aspects of ourselves, and as we recognize them and bring them together, we become much more than we were”

Robert Moss

Welcome Dreamers,

In the last post we talked about visits from the other side; when our loved ones cross the threshold of worlds and grace us with a visit via our waking or sleeping dreams.  We also have people that we know show up in our dreams who are quite fully alive however, whether or not we have seen them recently.

There seem to be four main categories of the non-visitation type of dream about people we know:

  1. They may come as themselves,
  2.  They may come as a symbolic stand-in for some one else,
  3.  They may appear as an archetype  (a Jungian term for an embodiment of a primordial image or character that reoccurs in thought and dream; Jung believed these are universal and reside in the collective unconscious that we share as a species),
  4.  They may represent an aspect of ourselves (a self part that we need to befriend, or heal, or reclaim) that is highlighted by our dreaming mind as a separate character.

We also know that dreams can have several layers of simultaneous meaning (see post of 8/12), so your dad, or your boss, or your friend Nancy may be in your dream for more than one reason.  This is why doing dreamwork with others is so crucial; we can’t see all our own layers at once, and could miss something important without the extra set or sets of eyes and ears.

Before getting into the above four categories, I want to be sure to also alert us to the very fun/punny word play aspect of people in our dreams.  Sometimes it is the characters name, or a play-on-words of their name that is the significance, rather than the person themselves.  For example, a colleague dreamt of a set of luggage that was called Mr. Hartman luggage.  After some discussion of who Mr. Hartman was, some one noticed that it could also be heard as “heart man”; and then we moved into a useful conversation about the man of her heart and how that was related to her dream.  Dreaming of Aunt Missy may have several layers of meaning; one of which may be are you “missing” something, or is something “missing” in your life?

So, let’s take Aunt Missy as the character who showed up in your dream to explore these potential layers.  Here are some questions you can ask to see how many of the four categories she falls into; not excluding that she may have been visiting if she had passed over to give you a message of some time, or just to say “Hi sweetie!”

If she has come as herself, we might be wondering:

•Who is Aunt Missy to you?

•What is your relationship with her like? Is she a confidant, your second mother, a source of tension on holidays?

•Do you have any unfinished business with her?

•What was your last encounter with her like?

If she has come as a symbolic stand-in, we might be wondering:

•Is she from your mother or father’s side of the family, and what does that say about why she is there in your dream?

•What are the qualities or characteristics of Aunt Missy; and do any of these resonate for you about yourself or some one important in your life?

•What does she look like?  Does she remind you of anyone?

•What was she doing in the dream?  How do you connect with that?

If she is an archetype, or larger than life symbol, we might notice:

•Does she have any numinous or spiritual quality about her in the dream?

•Is she dressed in an unusual way that connects you to thought of something sacred (i.e. in a white dress, or a long hooded cape)

•What is the quality of your interaction with her in the dream? Does she seem to have a message for you?

• Does she seem to embody one of the primal archetypes, such as the Wise Woman, The Mother, The Witch, The Shadow??

As an aspect or part of your self that you may recognize:

• Is Aunt Missy controlling?

• Struggling with a  family member?

• Too passive?

• High -spirited?

• The center of her home?

With all of these potential layers, take a look at what the character is doing in the dream, and how you are interacting with her.  What is the emotional resonance as well?

This is really fun to do with famous people as well!  If Madona showed up in your dream- you can have a field day!  Is it about sexuality? Or holiness? (in relation to Jesus) Or purity? Or strong powerful women? Or judgement of any of these parts? Of yourself? Of others? Of a tension between your inner Goddess, your sexual self, and your early  religious training? A part of you that wants expression? Are you “mad”-(ona)? Is there a “don” in your life?  Have fun with it.

These questions are just meant to start you off, please add your own as well to get acquainted with the people in your dreams!  As always, let me know how this goes for you.

Sweet dreams,

Linda Yael